


You Look Happier

by allantwitty



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/M, Fluff, Gay Dean Winchester, M/M, Minor Internalized Homophobia, POV Lisa Braeden, POV Outsider
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-04
Updated: 2017-05-04
Packaged: 2018-10-28 01:52:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10821267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allantwitty/pseuds/allantwitty
Summary: Lisa gets a look at her ex-boyfriend's new relationship, and it makes her believe in something she was sure didn't exist.





	You Look Happier

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from Happier by Ed Sheeran

Lisa was a smart woman, so she knew things. She knew the number of miles from the earth to the sun, she knew the circumference of an apple, she knew the function of bees in our ecosystem. She also knew this – she knew there was no such thing as true love or ‘meant to be’ or any of that shit. She might have believed in it once upon a time, but she knew better now. She knew, ever since she met, dated, and lost Dean Winchester.

***

They met in Psychology 101.

Lisa was sat in the third row and this big, beefy yet noodley-looking guy sat down next to her, after coming into class ten minutes late. She rolled her eyes at him and continued taking notes, copying down the current slide on the screen down into her notebook. The guy tapped on her arm and she looked at him in annoyance.

“What?” she whispered.

“You got a pen?” he asked in a hushed voice.

She sighed and unzipped her purse, pulling out a black pen and handing it to him. “Here.”

“Thanks,” he winked, and she rolled her eyes.

It continued on like this for weeks; almost every class he would come in late, and almost every class he would ask her for a pen, until one day she had had enough.

“Just _keep_ it,” she murmured hotly, her voice the perfect picture of exasperation. “So you can stop asking me for a damn pen every day.”

“But then how else would I get to talk to you?” he whispered, his eyes on the screen as he said it, avoiding her piercing gaze.

She blinked, and for the first time in her _life_ probably, she was speechless. She didn’t know what to say. Looking at the guy now, it was clear to see that he was attractive. He had short, sandy blond hair that was spiked up with gel in the front, and he had these adorable freckles littered on his face and amazing dimples that grew more pronounced when he pursed his lips, like he was doing right now. She suddenly wanted to kiss those lips.

“You wanted to talk to me?” she repeated.

“Duh,” he shrugged.

“Why?” she asked. She wasn’t _completely_ unaware; she knew she was a pretty girl. But that wasn’t what was confusing her – it was _him_. He was a good looking guy, and she couldn’t fathom a reason why a guy like him would need an excuse to talk to her. If he had just walked up to her the first day they met and asked her out, she probably wouldn’t have needed much convincing to say yes.

“Oh, I don’t know,” he shrugged again, his voice sarcastic. “It’s not like you’re the prettiest girl in the room or anything.”

And that was the clincher. “I…” she got out, unsure of what to say next.

“So do you want to go out with me or do I need to keep asking you for a pen?” he asked. He still wouldn’t look directly at her.

She chuckled under her breath and said, happily, “Yes. I will.”

His answering smile lit up the whole room.

***

She realized something was off the first time she tried to unbutton his pants.

They were kissing and everything was going great, and it felt good, but she was ready for more. So she moved her lips down to his neck and ghosted her hand down over his jeans, and he bucked up into her. She took that as a good sign and moved to his zipper, pulling it down and undoing the button, and it was only then that she noticed he was shaking.

“Dean?” she asked, her voice soft. She lifted her head and looked down at his face, and his eyes were clenched shut and his breathing was heavy, and not in the way it should have been. “Dean, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he breathed, still not opening his eyes. She knew it wasn’t _nothing_ , though, so she got off of him and sat down next to him on her bed.

“Dean, what’s going on? Is it – is it me?” she murmured, unsure if it was something she did or something she _didn’t_ do, maybe. She didn’t know what was going on. She was under the impression that things were going great for them.

“No, babe, it’s not – it’s not you,” he sighed, running his hands down his face and sitting up. Lisa noticed belatedly after looking down at him that his crotch was completely soft; unsurprising, but still a hit to her ego. “It’s me.”

“’It’s not you, it’s me’? _Really_ , Dean?”

“I know how it sounds,” he said, putting his head onto his raised knees and sighing again. “But it’s true. I – I’m –” he stopped, cutting himself off. “I think I’m –”

“You think you’re _what_ , Dean? What’s going on?” she demanded. She wasn’t _mad_ , per se, but she was confused and she just wanted answers. She was starting to think the worst – like he was sick or something and that’s why he couldn’t perform.

“I think I’m gay,” he whispered, looking down at the floral bed spread. She blinked, unsure she heard him correctly.

“What?” she asked, needing clarification and needing it _now_.

“I’m – I like you, Lis, I really do, and I tried to – I tried so hard to make this work, but I just – I can’t do this anymore. I can’t live like this anymore.”

She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “I – I turned you _gay_?” she said, the only thought in her head at the moment.

“No! No, Lisa, like I said – it’s really not you. It’s me. I’ve always been… but I tried to… I mean, you’re amazing. You’re gorgeous and funny and smart and _nice_ to everyone you meet, and I thought maybe it was just a phase or something, but I just – I can’t make myself like you like that. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“Wow,” she got out. “Wow, I, uh… okay. _Wow_.”

“I’m sorry,” he said again.

“No,” she said quickly. “No, Dean, don’t apologize. It’s – I mean, I can’t say I’m not shocked, but… if that’s who you are, it’s who you are. I don’t want to force anything on you.”

Dean blinked and looked at her like she hung the moon, and yeah, she was sad for a moment because she really did like him, but there wasn’t anything she could do. This was Dean, take it or leave it. “Thank you,” he whispered, his eyes shining with unshed tears. “I was so scared, but I knew – somehow I _knew_ you’d get it. You’re amazing, Lis.”

“You’re amazing,” she repeated back to him, rubbing his cheek with her hand, the stubble lightly grazing her palm.

***

Lisa and Dean didn’t see much of each other for a while. They promised to remain friends, but, well… it was awkward. Even if they didn’t want it to be. It just was. They’d see each other on campus sometimes, and they’d wave at each other, but that was it.

But then one day, everything was different. One day, Dean wasn’t alone.

He was walking with another boy – a good looking kid, tall like Dean, with messy, dark brown hair and bright blue eyes, and when Lisa looked down, she saw something that shouldn’t have been surprising at this stage in the game, but still took her breath away.

They were holding hands.

They both had twin smiles on their faces, little purses of their lips that said what they weren’t saying out loud – they were in love.

It was plain as day, as plain as the birds singing in the trees, as plain as the blue in the sky, and she knew, without knowing anything else, that this was the person for Dean. This was the person he was supposed to be with.

***

She saw them again one day in the dining hall, and she was a little more prepared for what she saw this time.

They were sitting next to each other, and the boy next to Dean had his arm around Dean’s shoulders, and Dean’s left hand was raised, interlocking his fingers with the boy’s as they fell down his arm. They were both reading from two different books, but they were attached at every available point – their hands, their shoulders, their torsos, their hips. It’s clear from the sight that this was not something new to them, that they find themselves in this position all the time.

Lisa smiled.

She withdrew her eyes after a minute, giving them privacy, but she looked back up after a while when she noticed the boy with Dean stand up. He looked down at Dean and leaned over, kissing him soundly on the lips. ‘I love you,’ she saw, more than heard, and it was so private of a moment she had to look away again.

Once she was sure they were done, she looked up at Dean where he was now sitting alone and she decided to walk over to him. She wasn’t sure what she was going to say yet as she pulled out the chair and sat down across from him.

“Hi, Dean,” she said softly.

“Lisa,” he said in surprise, his eyes widened slightly.

“I saw you, with…” she trailed off, her voice lilting in a question at the end of her sentence.

“Oh, with Cas?” he asked, his voice gone gentle. “Yeah, we, uh…”

“It’s okay, Dean. You don’t have to explain. Seeing you two together, everything was clear. You look… you look happy,” she smiled.

He paused for a moment. “Yeah,” he finally chuckled. “I really am.”

Okay… maybe true love and ‘meant to be’ _did_ exist.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I tried something a little different with this one so I hope you like it. Feedback as always is appreciated <3


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